Monday, October 31, 2005
little hellions!
Is it just me or has rebellion always been coupled with confirmity of some sort? I see kids today thinking they're rebelling but they're doing the exact same thing every other kid does to rebel, a la smoking, recreational drug usage, wild parties and so on, even down to wearing prepackaged attitude. The last one, of course, refers to the new outlets of t-shirts that provide you prepackaged attitude, should you be daring enough to buy them for Rs. 400 and up each. I visited one such vendor and found that the rebellious statement I may have been wanting to make would be much diminished by the knowledge that there are about fifty more shirts in assorted sizes and colors helping people make the exact same statement. What happened to individuality? I remember when I was young and had a lot of spare time, I would take a bunch of my mum's permanent markers and a white tee shirt and make my own radical statements, most of which are better left unmentioned in polite company, but at least it was a way to make your own statement instead of having some corporation make it for you and then sell it to you for a 100% markup. So the MTV disease has finally hit Pakistan, as kids start half-heartedly conforming to become individual rebels.
Misha
at Monday, October 31, 2005
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Sunday, October 30, 2005
I am friggin' exhausted. Between teachers who must schedule extra classes to make up for classes they couldn't make it to and idiots who keep handing out assignments like candy and the usual absence of appetite that comes hand in hand with fasting, I am dead tired.
The house is being renovated and I'm constantly being pestered to pick out a color for my room and what flooring I want and what changes I want made to my room. Mum and sis are about to leave for the US for a month's worth of tests as well, so of course time has to be spent there too. While trying to remember the last day off I had, I recalled that it was two sundays ago. Since then, it's been at least one class to go to every single day, if not two, and hourlies galore. By sheer dumb luck I have managed to secure the top marks in the class in three subjects consecutively this week, despite resolutely not studying for any of them, which goes to show how arbitrary an education really is, and now my only consolation lies in the fact that Eid is coming up and after the first day of running around as usual to far flung corners of Karachi to visit old relatives, I can get two days of blissful slumber.
Misha
at Sunday, October 30, 2005
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Friday, October 28, 2005
gaana bajaana
People need to learn to mind their own businesses. If I had a five rupee coin for each time someone or the other has asked me, in a shocked tone, "Rozay mein gaaney sun rahi ho?!" (You're listening to music while fasting?!), I'd be rich.
Misha
at Friday, October 28, 2005
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Reunion
I was dining with strangers again. Class reunions are like that.
It's an odd feeling, getting used to that old groove you'd worn over a period of three years again. Yes, I realized that all these people I used to interact with on a daily basis were almost strangers for me now. We would stop in the corridor, the awkward silences growing until finally we would break it with the inevitable fluff questions and quickly part with just a little less sincerity in our fond farewells.
I realized then that my position as the quiet person in the corner observing the rest had not changed, probably would never change, it's always just the circumstances keep revolving. This, of course, opens up a whole new train of thought about the hopelesness of the whole process of life if one is doomed to make the same mistakes everytime.
Class reunions will do that to you.
Misha
at Wednesday, October 26, 2005
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pinprick
There's nothing sadder than when your self-made merry little bubble of self-delusion bursts and you're left facing the sad truth: it's not going to happen, ever.
Enormously catchy song of the day: Yaadein - RoxenMisha
at Wednesday, October 26, 2005
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Random Mutterings
I sit perched upon a house of cards while you sat on judgement upon me.
I wonder sometimes if I have irrevocably lost the ability to trust someone at first sight, that intrinsic goodness within that makes you believe that everyone else must be good at heart as well. All I see is potential deception, people with walls all around, so it's a rare treat to find people who are so pure that it would probably blind someone who views the world without rose tinted glasses. You know who you are, buddy, and may you have a wonderful and safe trip.
Is it possible to be coldly logical without being reduced to cynicism? Is it possible to look upon someone who believes the best of people in general without a little contempt and a wry smile? Probably not on both counts, which is why I think of myself as a ticking, cynical time bomb about to be handed to some poor, unsuspecting male under the guise of a good "wife material". I wouldn't want to get married if I had the choice, simply because I couldn't bear to be the cause of such misery for another person, a nice person, who probably didn't deserve it.
On a less self-absorbed scale, does anyone else think the end is neigh with all these natural disasters? I sat chatting with a friend on sunday and suddenly the ground began to shake with that all too familar yet heart jolting movement of the ground beneath your feet. I can't admit that despite acting calm and nonchalant I do start wondering if it's all coming to an end before our eyes now and we're too caught up with ourselves to know it. A fitting end to a self-absorbed race.
Misha
at Tuesday, October 25, 2005
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Friday, October 21, 2005
bah
Did I mention I just found out yesterday that I have an hourly tomorrow, the course material for which is about twenty ameteur presentations with typos and brightly colored backgrounds and fonts? I imagine this is a prime activity in the bowels of Hell, making people read pointless slides about "feelings", "anger", "confidence", "society" and "appreciation" and asking them to take an exam on the nonsensical, typo-filled contents of said presentations.
Misha
at Friday, October 21, 2005
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Pakistani Cinema
This year, I've gotten into the habit of watching a lot of TV shows, albeit very rarely on the actual Television. Torrents, I've found, are a great way to actually stay in step with most of my favorite shows and movies since by the time they're shown on the channels we recieve, they're at least a year old.
Today, after about a week, I got the chance to watch some TV and forcibly, the new
Kaun Banega Crorepati with
Amitabh Bachan. When the show first started, people were glued to their sets across the subcontinent, not just to find out who the smart-ass is who gets the one Crore Rupees, but to watch Amitabh Bachan. Unsurprisingly, a show of the same franchise popped up in Pakistan as well, with Moin Akhtar as the celebrity host. Unfortunately, a combination of a host of copycat quiz shows with huge monetary rewards and the lack of sheer star dazzle brought in by Moin Akhtar who's more an Everyman comedian than a glamorous legendary action star adored by millions, finally brought and end to the Pakistani version just as the hype died down everywhere else as well. Eventually, Amitabh Bachan's movie career was revived (as soon as he stopped playing characters in their thirties and started playing people closer his own age) and KBC, as it was fondly known, came to an end as well. As of late, they started up the show again with double the prize money and I was just wondering who could take Mr. Bachan's place in a possible Pakistani version.
To be honest, I don't see any real star power or glamour in any of our Television or Film personalities. Given the chance, anyone in the respective countries that house Hollywood and Bollywood would give their eyeteeth to trade places or emulate their idols. Every kid wants to be the dashing Amitabh Bachan or Sean Connery and every young man wants to be like the charming Shahrukh Khan and Tom Cruise and every woman wants to be like Aishwariya Rai and Angelina Jolie. Why is it then, that you would only elicit disbelieving laughter if anyone were to say they wanted to be like any of our major Heroes/heroines such as Shaan, Babar, Reema, Meera, etc.? Simply put, there is honestly no 'X factor' associated with these people. These people are supposed to reflect the heroes of our time, the sort of people the general public wants to emulate. While I could accept that the average Pakistani male would quite enjoy being able to leap off two story buildings and land on their feet with a macho "Ruk ja
kameenay!", I cannot accept that the average female of Pakistan would enjoy running around half naked and getting no better prospects that
Shaan and Babar for their trouble.
Why do we have no up and coming filmmakers to turn our industry around? With every Tom, Dick and Harry thinking they can make a decent video for the multitude of bands popping up, why is it we seem to have absolutely zero efforts to revitalize Pakistani Cinema?
Misha
at Friday, October 21, 2005
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Update
Yes, I've been silent for a while, mainly because I had nothing to say.
Yes, despite the earthquakes and the never-ending images of blood and pain on TV, life goes on as usual.
Good things have been happening in a personal level, though, for which I'm very thankful. First, mum's impending departure has been delayed till after Eid and the good folks at the DHA might even pitch in with the costly procedure. Second, I got a raise, so I'm officially overpaid but pretty happy.
Unfortunately, one of the small downsides to having mum around is her obsession with the way I look. As of late, she has noticed my ever-expanding weight since all we (siblings and I) do all day during Ramzan is sleep, lay about, play video games, watch TV and occasionally, read. As a result, mum threatens to cut off our supply of Ramzan Pepsi and make us eat *gasp* healthy! I do detest this whole fascade we must create for ourselves in the face of a possible marriage proposal popping up any day now. Unluckily, brother has an inhumanly quick metabolism and despite eating like it's going out of style, still has occasions when you could see his ribs. Little sister barely eats anything, which I suppose is preferable to her friends' anorexic habits, so it's just me under fire these days. Damned supermodels promoting unrealistic expectations.
Misha
at Thursday, October 20, 2005
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Sunday, October 16, 2005
Dysfunction
Some relationships, I have learned, are best when dysfunctional. Having been around such severely dysfunctioning relationships all my life, I can't say I would ever be happy in a conventional happy relationship. Perfection, or even the semblance of it, both frightens and amuses me, like that odd dream where you can just feel that everything's just too darn good to be true and something very, very nasty will come by to break the sheer monotony of this perfection very soon.
Personally, I wouldn't want it any other way. When everything's going well, you're engaged in cautious enjoyment with an eye towards the pessimistic turn you're convinced is coming. When everything starts to sour, you're so happily involved in the gloating over your prediction come true of bad things to come, you're slightly oblivious to how bad everything really is. This air of unreality helps keep that little optimistic flicker you try to supress kindled and alive.
Life's good when you're a pessimist.
Misha
at Sunday, October 16, 2005
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Friday, October 14, 2005
Self-Centered A*holes
Life, it seems, even in the blogging world has come to a halt since the earthquakes on saturday. Almost a week later, relief still pours in and people are still glued to their TV sets. Here in the coastal areas of Karachi, though, we still await the big one that's going to come finish us all off. People have started panicking at the slightest tremor and it is rumoured that foriegn consulates in this area immediately evacuates its VIP occupants and takes them to a safer, less coastal area of Karachi to wait out the impending doom. Slight tremors have been coming by here every other day since several months, but until the major quake, none of it was a big deal. Me, I'm still going through life as normal. Sure, any night we could wake up (or not) under a pile of rubble that used to be our home, but you can't control nature, so you might as well live out normalcy untill you are no longer capable.
I must admit, it feels good to have an entire conversation filled with laughs and devoid of any mention of earthquakes and relief efforts and sad stories. Denial, thy name is Defence Resident. In times like this when even a nudge recieved on MSN Messenger can startle you, it's good to have some conversations centered entirely around ourselves.
Misha
at Friday, October 14, 2005
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
Capitalism
Capitalism trives in Pakistan, too.
Recently, I heard reports of Transport companies jacking up their prices to Rs. 70k per round trip to take relief to areas affected by the earthquakes. Also, anyone who's tried to buy Kafans to donate would know the sudden increase in the price of each Kafans since everyone's buying some to donate to earthquake victims.
Can't fight it.
Misha
at Thursday, October 13, 2005
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
There's a cynicism setting in about donations to the Earthquake Funds. People being harassed at every corner to donate, the social pressure caused by being asked to contribute every ten minutes in public places, it's getting to most people. A teacher in one of my classes actually asked everyone to elaborate on what they were doing to help the relief effort. It's a good thing he didn't ask each one of us individually because we may have had a bit of a situation in our hands, being insanely private about things that I don't think are anyone else's concern, i.e. how many times I've fasted, prayed, how much I've donated and so on. People keep invading classrooms to collect donations and in that sort of situation, you feel like a pile of crap if you don't contribute and yet don't want everyone to know the size of your contribution. An awkward moment passes where everyone looks at one another to assuage the general reaction, and then starts digging in to donate what meagre amount they have left after being accosted several times already by eager volunteers. Enough, already, leave a donation box out and stop harassing everyone to contribute when, for all you know, they probably already have.
Misha
at Wednesday, October 12, 2005
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QUake
This morning, around half past midnight, Karachi was hit by minor aftershocks. Well, not Karachi, exactly, just the coastal areas such as Clifton and Defence. I guess many people would find this incentive to move further into the city since the coastal areas always feel the earthquakes. Anyhow, with all the fuss about the major earthquake, a slight tremor got people really panicked. I was attempting to get some sleep at the time when the bed started shaking. I looked up at the walls suspiciously, searching for some sign that the walls would give way, in which case, panic mode would ensue, but the tremor faded away within a second.
Immediate reaction: switch to Geo News to find out what the hell happened. Not surprisingly, Geo had people already on it and people with reassuring titles like "Professor" and "Doctor" talking about how the aftershocks experienced in Karahi a few minutes ago were just that and completely unrelated to the major quakes in the interior so residents should not panic. I recall him saying over and over "unhoun ne waada kia hai keh yeh aftershocks pareshaani ki baat nahi hai" and I realized people must be panicking like hell. Upon venturing out into the balcony, our guess was validated. A family of seven had packed up some stuff anf moved out of their apartment and were sitting in the gardens below, elders on benches, youngsters on the ground. It hit home how exactly people were going mildly hysterical, ready to grab some necessities and bolt at the slightest provocation. While strikes and terrorism activities can be safely swept under the rug in the posh areas of town, nature's great equalizers won't let anyone be complacent about the possibility of their area being hit next.
Misha
at Wednesday, October 12, 2005
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Monday, October 10, 2005
This is what I don't get: in what way is it fair that a woman cannot keep all the fasts in Ramzan ever due to being impure at some point in the month due to her menstrual cycle? I mean, it was fun when we were kids, to make superior faces at my little brother as my mum told him to go and read the Quran with the Moulvi Sahab and not me and my little sister when our periods came around, but now it's just annoying, this second class citizen status.
Misha
at Monday, October 10, 2005
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For anyone wanting to donate for the Earthquake Relief in Pakistan, please check out
this very comprehensive post and donate as much as you can.
Misha
at Monday, October 10, 2005
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Gay Marriage
A gay couple have become the first to get "married" in Pakistan, according to reports from the region.Witnesses said a 42-year-old Afghan refugee held a marriage ceremony with a local tribesman of 16 in the remote Khyber region bordering Afghanistan.
Gay marriage is not legal in conservative Muslim Pakistan. On hearing of the wedding, a tribal council told the pair to leave the area or be killed for breaking religious and tribal "values and ethics".
A local Urdu-language newspaper said the elder man, named as Liaquat Ali, had taken a local boy called Markeen as "his male bride". The paper said the boy's impoverished parents accepted 40,000 rupees (£380) for their son's hand in marriage." The marriage was held amid usual pomp and show associated with a tribal wedding," it said. Malik Waris Khan, a prominent local politician and former federal minister, confirmed to AFP that the marriage had taken place. "I checked the report with people in Tirah Valley and they confirmed it," he said.
Although it remains a taboo subject, homosexuality is relatively common in Pakistan, says the BBC's correspondent Aamer Ahmed Khan in Islamabad. Increasingly, gay couples are living together in some of the big cities such as Karachi and Islamabad, but gay marriages remain unheard of, he says.
Pakistani law punishes sodomy with imprisonment ranging from two years to life. Some Islamic provisions prescribe 100 lashes for the act or even death by stoning. A gay couple caught having sex were lashed publicly in the Khyber region in May.
Taken from BBC News' Website
So it all comes out in the open at last. Soddom and Gomorrah, anyone?
Misha
at Monday, October 10, 2005
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Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno TestMisha
at Saturday, October 08, 2005
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PM
PC's on the fritz again, hence I only get the meagre six hours the lab is open to get my work done, so you'll all excuse the lack of updates on this blog as of late.
One interesting thing that did happen lately was that my mum and sister's VISA application process has been going on and suddenly the day before yesterday, we got a call for an interview, which was the next day (yesterday) at 10 am. I was oblivious to all the scattered preperations to leave for Isloo going on at home and was surprised to find a flurry of activity at home. Mum and sis packed at what was perilously close to the speed of light and caught the 4 p.m flight the same day. Unfortunately, at such short notice, we had to make arrangements for living quarters for them both and hurried phone calls to relatives and friends in Isloo en route to the airport were of no use. That is, until Mrs. PM, nice lady that she is, invited mum and sis to stay at the PM House. Needless to say, mum was very impressed when she got off the plane and, immediately upon descending the plane's stairwell, encountered a driver with her name on the board he was holding up. He driver whisked them both straight off to the PM House. Now that's what I call door-to-door service! Lovely lady that she is, their host made mum and sis as comfortable as possible and, upon having her sehri brought to her on a trolley the next morning and finding bottles of Hugo Boss in the bathroom, sis was enchanted by the place and its sheer grandeur while mum enjoyed the gorgous backdrop of the Margalla Hills. Early the next morning, the driver took them to their interview and brought them back again. In the evening, mum and sis caught their flight back home and arrived all flushed but happy that they got the US VISA. Hurray! :) While mum recounted what a lovely lady their host is, sis lamented to friends about the fact that she never got to meet PM Jr, who was abroad at the time for studies.
Anyhow, so the good news for anyone interested is that mum got her VISA and very speedily, too and continues to plan her departure while I try to pry information about tuition costs from German universities.
Misha
at Saturday, October 08, 2005
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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
GTA
Upon playing the brilliantly addictive game that is Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, I was faced with a moral dilemma when my conscience (which sounds a lot like my mum's "stern voice") reprimanded me for playing a video game in which the way to gain money to purchase various weapons and modifications for my "dope ride" (hydraulics, ahoy!) was to, in the game, approach people walking about in the streets looking moderately well off and punch their lights out, at which point any cash or weapons they were carrying would be spilled onto the street, right next to their blood, and I could take it all and run off to repeat the act of flagrant violence. What disturbs me is that that save for the rival gangmembers, who seem curiously better off than anyone in my own gang, the demographic that carries the most money is women. Hence, if you should approach a woman on the street of this game and punch her lights out, you would get more money than you would if you did the same with a man. Odd and disconcerting, to say to the least, especially when I observed my brothers and his friends, in their turns, gleefully kicking a woman's unconscious body to get her posessions.
And yet, a generation continues to play, as do I. I am reminded of a study someone was doing a while back in which they asked various gamers about the moral implications of having to murder a baby to get ahead in the level. Would they do it? Most said no, but that was probably because few games, if any, would ask that level of desensitization to voilence from them. Hell, I hated myself for having to shoot the rabid dogs that attacked me in Resident Evil. Is this really where we want to go as a generation?
Misha
at Wednesday, October 05, 2005
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Happiness is an administrator's password at the university labs. :)
Misha
at Tuesday, October 04, 2005
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ramadan
There's something special about the combination of winter in Karachi and Ramzan. On an average day, we stuff ourselves with so much consumables that it would seem ridiculous to imagine any of us staying hungry and thirsty for a twelve hour period daily for a month. Almost everyone I know throws at least some of their bad habits aside during this month. One friend will be giving up his sheesha (he who has sheesha thrice a day on a good day) and his porn stash while another, an avid partygoer, will be attending all his taraavehs instead. Anything that makes you want to be a better person, even for a 12 hour period can only be a good thing, right?
Ramadan Mubarak, everyone!
Misha
at Tuesday, October 04, 2005
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Monday, October 03, 2005
Pet Peeves
New Additions to my list of Pet Peeves:- People who say "patt-run" instead of pattern and will not cease saying it over and over.
- The usage of the non-phrase "a lot many" and "Self-talk". Both originate from a highly annoying teacher I have had the misfortune of encountering this semester.
- People who scratch ballpoint pens on an uneven plastic desk surface while a complicated concept is being explained.
- People who find it amusing to feed animals intoxicating substances/liquids.
Misha
at Monday, October 03, 2005
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Have you ever gotten the feeling that you were standing in the way of true love? I mean quite literally, that you were a physical wall in the path of true love?
While attending one of my numerous (and enormously entertaining) classes with my juniors, my choice of seating, which normally serves me well, let me down. As is usual, being one of only two seniors sitting in on this particular class, most of the junior kids would gather around with their friends and mostly leave an empty seat of two on either side of seniors, so unless there's a whole group of seniors taking the class, you're on your own. Unfortunately, on this occasion, I had only one seat empty to my right and two empty ones to my left. Ten minutes into the class, a trio of students burst into the class, distributing aromatic rolls and finally settling down to the only three seats in the back row that were unoccupied, i.e. to my left and right. Unfortunately one of the trio, a strapping young lad chose the seat on my left while one of the remaining two ladies took a seat to my right and immediately invaded my armrest space. Muttering "ruddy baboons" and other such disgruntlements under my breath, I made myself as comfortable as I could without an armrest while the newcomers settled in and quietened down.
All went well until I noticed that the gentleman to my left could not go three seconds without sneaking a peek at the lady to my right. She, in turn, saw it necessary to exchange cliched barbs with him every few seconds ("How can you mind, you don't have a mind!" "Am I supposed to care, loser?") the likes of which it took all my inner resolve to not roll my eyes at. I contented myself with leaning forward to be able to immerse myself in the subject matter being displayed on the board. After about fifteen minutes of ignoring the two, I noticed that both, in order to exchange gestures that were apparently so amusing that it made both start giggling simultaneously, had started to lean forwards to be able to see each other around my leaning self. Idiot on the left was so intent on catching Ms. Right's eye that his seat was nearly tipping over with his efforts to lean to the front. Sighing, I gave up and leaned back on my own seat to give the two space to converse. Their conversation was worse than the giggles and eventually I asked Ms. Right if she would like to trade seats and freely converse with Mr. Left (and leave me out of it). Thankfully she accepted and I was able to continue concentrating on what was going on with the course material.
Misha
at Monday, October 03, 2005
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Saturday, October 01, 2005
So I've started applying to various universities in Europe for my Masters Degree. The brilliant thing is that I have much more choice that I would in Pakistan where it's an MBA or an MCS or nothing. The bad news is that Euros are pretty pricey when compared to the Rupeer and even without tuition, as many of the universities in Europe are, the costs of living can run pretty high. The best bit is that since little brother has only just begun his BBA, I would be flying solo for a year and a half of freedom and European liberty. :)
Now all I have to do is apply to a dozen universities in the hope that at least one would accept my application. I have no illusions about admission. We Pakis know from birth that if it's free, you're likely to find a couple of hundred other Pakis fighting you for it and ahead of you in line.
Suleman, who is nothing less than a godsend, sent me
a very handy guide to studying in Europe written by a Pakistani. Thanks to that and Yahoo's educational directory, I have figures to quote to my mum as per annum living expenses for veto or approval.
On a more menial note, thanks to the brilliant administration of my university, I had to endure an 8 am class (Yes, yes, we all have feelings, I get it, already!), currently await a 3 pm class, which will be immediately followed by a 6 pm class which will end at 10 pm. If I'm very lucky, I'll be home again by 10:30 pm.
PS: For enthusiats of angry Pakistani music, check out
Noori's new album, several tracks of which are brilliant for blasting on your stereo until your neighbours start to throw rocks at your window.
Random Thought of the Day: Would it really be so bad to get a Masters Degree in Moral and Social Philosophy?
Misha
at Saturday, October 01, 2005
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