darkalley-small
Originally uploaded by mschulz.

As of late, I find myself absolutely unmotivated to study at all. Oddly, my usual study habits, which include opening up a textbook/notes 12 hours before the actual exam and going through the whole course in one go, don't seem to be working anymore. My personal theories (most of which are contrived in the loo, as thus naturally, full of shit) veer towards how I subconsciously set myself up to flunk because I know once my Bachelors are complete, I have to move towards my Masters, most likely abroad, and then I won't be able to run anymore from the inevitable "marriage talk". The eternal escapist strikes again. On the other hand, I may just be suffering from having too many other things to worry about and hence preferring the relatively entertaining escapism that reading and playing video games offers as compared to actually studying. Or maybe my teachers hate me. I'm full of theories, just running out of ideas.

Additionally, this semester, I'm the academia's equivalent of a ghost. I wander the campus wondering where these new faces came from and when and only other ghosts (my current classmates, twenty or so in number) can see me. It's not their fault really, I enjoy the translucent existence enough to encourage it.