Today I have discovered the heart of Karachi's porn industry: the aptly, or perhaps ironically named, "Mega Productions", which specializes in "Entertainment. Modeling.". It was while staring at this euphimistic board that I noticed exactly how many types of beggars there are around today.

First up, an old woman. If anything gets em, it's an old lady who's a widow and starving, is apparently the first rule in begging school. If the target resists, bring on the next level of hearttuggers: the kids. Unwashed, emaciated and unvarying with large, brown eyes, if these kids don't win you over, you have no heart. Fortunately, my sympathies lie with animals rather than human beings. Seeing that the children are having no effect, the next level of cute is sent forward: the snake charmers and the monkey trainers. If the monkeys don't get your attention with their antics, the snaps of the reeds used to punish the poor creatures will. Resistant to animals as well? Its time to bring in the big (and annoying) guns: the eunuchs. With a bounce in their step and a song in their hearts, these poor wretches can and will be used to embarrass friends ("Dus rupay doonga if you sing a long song for ABC" and friends look on and hoot while ABC is embarrassed). Either out of pity or sheer annoyance, you will end up paying them to go away. The beggars always get their man.