Tuesday, September 21, 2004

*

I love this moment. How there is absolute silence. Even the sound of keys clattering on the keyboard cease to exist or matter. My ears are ringing, but just for a few seconds. I'm cloaked in silence. The kind that most would shake it off with a clumsily worded leading question; a question to repel the silence, make it seem far enough away to be avoided forever or at least till the next question.

I remember nights, not too long ago, where both sounds and silence were my enemies. As I lay in bed silently, not realizing I was holding my breath, swearing at the silence in my head for abandoning me. Not just yet, though, but soon, sounds would break on through. Panic would replace reluctant comfort as I'd throw off the sheets and rush out of the room. When it was all over, I would return to my nightly vigil, cursing the silence for lulling me into this false sense of security. Too many times, I had trusted silence and too many times it left me when I was most dreading it.

I appreciate the silence now. I revel in it. I wade in it as I walk from room to room. I lie in it every night. I smile at it every morning. I love all these moments.

Misha at Tuesday, September 21, 2004

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