Sunday, June 06, 2004

pointless

A lack of emotions is nothing to be happy about. Or is it?

Okay, that's about all I can take of the non-mundane for the moment. It seems I'm back to square one. The fish among birds. Among my classmates, that is. I always feel this barrier between us that may or may not be my own creation. How to pull it down. Or rather, do I even want it to be pulled down? The last few semesters I had become them. Happy, moderately fluff-for brains and full of pointless gossip and topics of conversations. I can never really be one of them. When I first joined, it was a bit of culture shock to see that fifty percent of the girls in the class wore dupattas on their heads and I SO did not fit in. I learned to change myself to fit in, afraid of being alone. What the hell, I'm never really going to be one of them. Most of them don't watch cable, have never had close male friends, all of which are regulars in my own life.

Anyhow, the question is, is it worth it to bother fitting in, really? Is there a point to changing yourself to something that is unnatural for you in order to be accepted? Even when you never really will be completely accepted anyway?

Misha at Sunday, June 06, 2004

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